Title: THE F.A.T. PATROL’S GREATEST HITS
Date(s) of creation: 1980
Creator / author / publisher:  From Judith Stein’s archive. Lyrics by Kate Allen, Marcia DuVall, Beryl-Elise Hoffstein, Elly Janesdaughter
Physical description:  A black and white 2-page scan of song lyrics, typed on a typewriter. Some text is scratched out by hand with hand-written revisions written over top and in the margins. Each song is separated by typed asterisks and lines.
Reference #:  JudithStein-F.A.T.Patrol
Source: Judith Stein
Links:  [ PDF ] [ Audio recording of these songs ]

THE F.A.T. PATROL’S GREATEST HITS

Debut performance at “An Evening of Fat Women’s Culture”

April 19, 1980         New Haven, Connecticut

Music: by various folks
Lyrics: by Kate Allen, Marcia DuVall, Beryl-Elise Hoffstein, Elly Janesdaughter

Tune:   “There’s No Business Like Show Business”

(from Annie, Get Your Gun)

There’s no womyn like fat womyn
like no womyn I know.
Everything about them is appealing
Bellies, breasts and tushies turn you on
Where else can you get that happy feeling
When you are squeezing that extra pound?
There’s no womyn like fat womyn
We’re big womyn and strong
We’re committed to ending that diet game, We won’t take your bullshit no more diet game
we’re standing up proudly, we’ll feel no shame.
Don’t psychologize, we’ll take no more blame,
we’re moving right along,
we’re fat and we’re strong!!

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Tune:   “101 Pounds of Fun”

         (from South Pacific)

Three hundred and one pounds of fun, that’s my great big honey bun
get a load of honey bun tonight.
Speaking of my sweetie pie, 40 inches is he thigh,
every inch is packed with dynamite!!
Her body’s big and cuddly. Ooh!
She’s so cuddly wuddily
I love to squeeze both her knees and listen to her sigh! Ooh.

**************************************************************************************

[This short section is redacted with black marker]

Tune: “Oklahoma”

         (from Oklahoma)

OOO—verweight is what they tell me that I shouldn’t be,
and I should eat a food that’s sweet
for they say that’s what is killing me.
OOO—vereating’s what they say I really shouldn’t do
but I feel so well they can go to hell
and take their diet doctors too!
We know that we eat like they do
All the lies that they tell are not true.
So when we say, on your diets we don’t stay,
we’re only saying — you’re doing fine, fat womyn,
fat womyn, OK!!

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Tune:  “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Your Face”

         (from My Fair Lady)

I’ve grown accustomed to my size
I love my lovely, luscious thighs
and now it’s time to celebrate
each gorgeous pound of weight;
my stomach, my breasts, and all the rest
I just won’t diet anymore…
’cause Diet Workshop is a bore.
I’m going to learn to love my body just the way it’s meant to be,
I’m learning how to cherish every each precious inch of me
I’ve grown accustomed to my fat
I know that’s where it’s at
Accustomed to my size.

***********************************************************************************

Tune:   “Moon River”

         (from Breakfast at Tiffany’s)

Fat womyn, while it wider than a mile
When I see you I smile, all day
Whenever your damn diet ends
I’ll be round the bend
My beautiful fat friends,
Fat womyn, and me.

**********************************************************************************

Tune:   “Frere Jaques”

No more diets, no more diets
No more pills, no more pills
No more saccharine, no more saccharine
No more ills. No more [ills] [this is illegible due to some black marks bleeding through the paper]

(may be sung in a round….)